Rabu, 10 Juni 2015

Refleksi Garscube dan Secangkir Kopi



Tiba-tiba saja saya ingin berpindah jendela, dari jendela file thesis saya ke jendela ini. Terdistract lagi? Heheh. Enggak, saya lebih suka mengatakannya mengambil jeda sejenak, akhir-akhir ini aktivitas saya tidak jauh dari file-file thesis yang harus saya selesaikan segera. Sungguh menguras energi, maka kalau sedang tidak menulis tesis saya biasanya lebih suka istirahat, masak, makan, dan tidur. Makanya lama ya tidak menulis blog *ahah alasan lagi.
Tapi sore ini saya ingin mampir ke sini sejenak, menaruh selintasan-selintas pikir yang banyak melintas hari ini. Biasanya kalau banyak yang berseliweran di kepala, saya jadi “penuh”, maka demi kesehatan jiwa raga saya lebih suka menuangkannya dalam bentuk tulisan. Makanya menulis itu semacam kebutuhan (note : tapi bukan sejenis tulisan ilmiah seperti tesis atau paper/jurnal ilmiah ya).
Sore ini saya masih asik di depan komputer di lab saya di daerah Garscube, ditemani secangkir kopi yang sudah dingin. Saya membuatnya tadi siang kala menikmati santap makan siang menghabiskan bekal saya.
Ada suatu hal hari ini yang membuat hati saya sedikit tersentil sentil. Manusia, kadangkala memang layaknya membutuhkan penghargaan dari orang lain. Ada keinginan-keinginan normal manusia yang kadang muncul walau dalam bawah sadar kita. Manusia itu suka dipuji, dihargai, diacknowledge kehadirannya di publik dan sebagainya. Dan hari ini saya belajar,
            “ Kalaupun tidak ada orang pun yang tahu, kalaupun tak disebar di media sosial ataupun di ranah publik. Akankah kamu tetap melakukan apa yang ingin kau lakukan? Apakah tindakan-tindakanmu itu membutuhkan pengakuan?
Ah, manusia. Bukankah kamu bisa mengukur ketulusan dan keikhlasanmu saat hanya segelintir orang yang tau? Bukankah tindakan-tindakan yang kamu lakukan sejatinya itu untuk dirimu sendiri?. Melakukan yang terbaik yang bisa kamu lakukan. Setelah itu, apakah engkau masih membutuhkan pengakuan dari orang lain? Hingga jangan-jangan mungkin saja kau melakukannya demi pengakuan orang lain, demi puja puji dan sebagainya?
Kalimat di atas itu ditujukan untuk diri saya sendiri.
Ada satu detik di hari ini, pertanyaan itu datang pada saya. Dan pada akhirnya saya tersenyum, hari ini saya belajar tentang ketulusan.
Akhir-akhir ini saya juga belajar beberapa hal lainnya. Salah satunya Stop comparing yourself to others. Ini sebenarnya pelajaran sudah lama sekali. Tapi butuh latihan yang terus menerus, butuh diingatkan lagi. Hidup kita sehari hari dipenuhi polusi, seperti halnya polusi media, polusi dari ponsel kita dan sebagaimannya. Si X upload blab la, Si Y share link bla bla, ada yang media war, ah banyak sekali hal yang berseliweran dan hidup kita tiap harinya. Kita memang perlu sering rejuvenating diri, biar nggak kehabisan energi ehehe. Itulah sebabnya banyak pelajaran-pelajaran yang harus kita latih terus menerus. Salah satunya itu tadi, berhenti membandingkan diri sendiri dengan orang lain. Melihat si X upload foto keluarga harmonis, foto-foto liburan bersama pasangan, si Y anaknya sudah masuk SD bla bla dan lain sebagainya. Ada satu titik yang kadang secara bawah sadar, akan membandingkan diri dengan orang lain.
Orang yang belum menikah kadang merasa terintimidasi dengan upload-an/share orang yang sudah menikah. Orang yang belum mempunyai keturunan pun bisa terintimidasi dengan postingan foto-foto anaknya sahabat atau orang lain. Orang yang ukuran kebahagiaannya diletakkan pada harta akan merasa iri kalau ada orang yang lebih kaya, lebih makmur dan sebagainya. Dan banyak lagi lainnya.
Sebenarnya jatuhnya jadi tidak baik, karena muncul iri. Namun ada sepersekian detik selintasan rasa tersebut kadang hadir. Inilah yang perlu latihan  terus menerus. Melihat perjalanan dan banyak sekali keberkahan Tuhan yang diberikan pada diri ini, dan melihat perjalanan orang lain sebagai teman seperjalanan yang beda jalur. Setiap orang ada jatahnya sendiri-sendiri. Bukan membandingkan ladang orang lain lebih “hijau”, lebih subur dan sebagainya, namun berupaya melihat betapa hijau dan suburnya ladang kita sendiri. Dan berupaya untuk membuat ladang kita lebih hijau dan lebih subur lagi hihi. Tuhan memberikan kelebihan juga pada hal-hal yang berbeda beda tiap orangnya. Memang benar sih, kuncinya itu lebih banyak bersyukur pada apa yang telah kita punyai.
"If you are content with what you have, you will have a happier life," 

(Robert Walker)
Rasanya cukup terus. Dan memang terasa lebih melegakan, membebaskan. Semoga terus menerus diingatkan untuk berlatih.
Yang kedua, saya sering kali diingatkan untuk “Don’t take everything for granted”. Apa ya enaknya dalam bahasa Indonesianya. Mungkin jangan menganggap apa yang ada padamu, apa yang kamu peroleh, apa yang Tuhan berikan padamu itu sebagai hal yang biasa saja. Ada beberapa hal yang biasanya kita anggap “biasa” saja  lama-lama akan kehilangan keistimewaannya. Apakah kamu merasa mulai biasa saja kala bersama pasangan? Tidak sadar bahwa setiap saat selalu berharga, kamu tidak tahu kan Tuhan akan kasih kamu kesempatan sampai kapan? Begitu pula kontak dengan orangtua, saudara, sahabat. Sampai kapan kamu diberi waktu bisa berupaya berbakti pada orangtua?
Ketika sahabat kamu masih setia mendengarkan cerita, masih sempat menyapa di sela-sela kesibukannya, itu istimewa. Ketika mulai menerapkan “Don’t take everything for granted”, bersyukur jadi lebih ringan dan mudah. 
Ah, manusia itu sering lupa. Maka sebenarnya kalimat-kalimat di atas seringkali sebenarnya untuk pengingat diri sendiri. Kadangkala membuka-buka tulisan lagi, lalu merasa ditampar-tampar tulisan sendiri. Tapi mungkin itulah salah satu kegunaan tulisan, sebagai pengingat.
Mari terus berjalan dengan perjalanan tiap kita masing-masing.

Glasgow hari ini cerah, langitnya biru. Memang lebih enak ke luar dan berjemur di bawah matahari, namun saya harus melanjutnya tulisan tesis saya.
Salam, Garcube 10 June 2015


61 komentar:

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Good luck for your thesis. *lanjutin tidur*

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Barangkali, tulisan adalah kepingan2 jiwa yg seorang penulis lahirkan. Ia tumbuh, dan ketika penulis itu merasa lemah, jiwa-jiwa itu yang menegakan kembali semangatnya.
Hari-hari ini sempat aku sebal dengan pikiran yg bicara sendiri, seakan kena skizofrenia awal. Aku cari obatnya dengan membaca buku2, mendengarkan musik, jalan-jalan, tapi semua gagal. Dan ternyata, aku menemukan obatnya dari tulisan2 yg dulu aku buat sendiri.

"Mengapa manusia mampu merasa terberatkan? Kategori apakah : berat, ringan, pahit, manis, jauh, dekat, indah, buruk? Apakah perasaan? Apakah mungkin manusia menyingkirkan semua perasaan dan pikirannya, hingga ia hanya memiliki-Nya? Bagaimana cara itu? Apakah secara langsung, ketika nafsu terkering-tundukan?
Ah, menakutkan sekali manusia yang benar-benar kosong : tak bernafsu, tak merasa, tak berpikir." (Esai, Litasyqo) ^_^

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Father's Day could be a celebration conformation fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and also the influence of fathers in society. In Catholic Europe, it's been celebrated on Christian holy day (St. Joseph's Day) since the center Ages.
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Independence Day, conjointly brought up because the Fourth of Gregorian calendar month or Gregorian calendar month Fourth, could be a federal vacation within the us ceremonial the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on Independence Day, 1776.
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